What Now?

A friend of mine, who I believe to be looking for a new job, asked me what my dream company would be.

My reply is (as usual): "Now that's a good question!"

I am currently working at a specific field of Civil Engineering, in which I never dreamed of working. I'm enjoying it though!

So I ask myself, if I have the chance of choosing between this and what I was looking for, which of them will I choose? Two months ago, my answer would be crystal clear, but now decision making would be fuzzy. Many factors are to be considered and to assess them properly is the key to a good decision. Thank Gawd I don't have to do that right away!

Generation Gap

My co-workers say that there are many differences between my generation and theirs.
According to them, we are much more aware of reality but, in a way, we're a lot more careless.

For instance, they state we're all gay - as in, we're so gay friendly, that they cannot tell who among us is gay or not anymore. This also refers to being tolerant and accepting: respectful towards different styles and lifestyles.

Moreover, we seem to be much more conscious about ecological and social issues. We include sustainability in our daily routine, we avoid resource and energy waste, just as much as we avoid racism, poverty or homophobia. We are very concerned about being involved and making the world a better place, either by planting trees or volunteering for charity.

Furthermore, we seem not to worry about money as much as they do. We'd rather live a peaceful fulfilling life, than an exhausting one having money we wouldn't have time to spend.

So far so good, it seems like society's improving. Or maybe not.

"You've lost your values" - they say. Well, just how right can that be?
I look around and see commitment-phobes everywhere. I don't refer to relationships only - also when it comes to jobs or even to hobbies. Commitment is something not to face for as long as possible.
For us, everything is temporary, disposable and recyclable - so everything can be reused.
We are also very proud - we strive for perfection and effectiveness. That's why we seem so worried about whatever issues that surround us: we are playing the role society imposes on us. Therefore, we recycle not to be criticized and we do charity work in order for us to be able to criticize whoever doesn't. We ignore our friends and siblings, we put our every selfish needs above them, but all our sins will be purged since we are feeding the hungry and saving the whales.

Hurray for us. It seems like evolution is making a successful way.

To Be or Not To Be (Talked About)

"There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about."

OK, now this may be just a little bit drastic but what does it really mean?

It's not about being popular and the center of everyone's world: it's not only about being an attention-whore.

Being talked about means being part of a scene - prolly the scene. It may not be about acting bohemian or unapologetic. It may even mean behaving properly - so much it deserves to be mentioned.

After all, being talked about may mean that you're an example - whether it's a good or a bad one s only up to you.

However, when you're talked about it isn't necessarily good or bad, it may just mean that you belong to a community in such a way that your charisma it engraved in people's minds.

Not to be talked about may mean that you are absolutely irrelevant and unnecessary. I'd rather belong than being a ghost or a shadow of myself.

Talk about what you will.

Single Wishlist

When people get married or move in together they usually gather a list of things they need, from which friends and family are welcome to buy them gifts.

It's very hard to start a living and this way, people can help knowing what they actually need. It's not always easy to buy gifts for your friends and, therefore, this is the way of presenting them with something that will be actually useful.

How about when we start living on our own? Maybe society hasn't been able to keep up with evolution and therefore it's still unusual for single people ho start living on their own to be treated the same as couple.

I'm making a statement. I'm making my single list :D ahahah So here it is:



















it's a lot of stuff isn't it?? Well, actually, this list exists more for personal guidance than for anything else. I need to keep in mind what I really need to invest in, instead of wasting money on foolish stuff.

Either way, my house is cosier and cosier everyday... ;) Feels more like home...

Voting

It's very common for people to say that voting is a "civic duty". That has become so popular, that people forgot the main purpose of it.

Voting is, first of all, a right, our right as citizens living within a democratic regime.

Knowing that we've lived under a dictatorship not a long time ago (historically speaking, 30 years is nothing), it shocks me to see how careless people are when it comes to voting, to having a voice, to being able to contribute to their country's fate.

I understand that due to the economical/political scenery we have seen, it becomes difficult to believe. However, don't we become part of the crappy system if we numbly decide not to vote?

I always want to speak up; if there's a chance for me to express my opinion, regardless how little it counts, I will! And if I have no idea on which person, party or choice to vote, I will vote blank - I will make my best not to abstain.

Voting is my right; I refuse to let go of it.

The Joy of Reading

Throughout my university years a lot was going on in my mind and in my life, leaving me not that much time to invest on myself.

Yes, I've benefited a lot from all the activities I was involved it but, at the same time, I neglected myself in a way. I stopped playing music, I never took that much care of my health and, worst of all, I started reading a lot less.

Nowadays, I'm getting re-acquainted with the joys of reading.

Reading is a very selfish pleasure. It transforms you and enhances your development both personally and culturally, but the knowledge you acquire is nothing unless you bring it out to the world. That's why it is so simple, so special and so selfish. Despite the impact it may have on you, you only share as much as you chose to do; eerything else stays inside, and in a way, each of us believes we've seen that little exquisit detail no one else has noticed.

Gawd, did I miss this.

Tales of the Alhambra

I've just finished reading 'Tales of the Ahambra' by Washington Irving.


It's a very nice book for those who enjoy Moorish tales and legends...I remember being very little and going intensely through a golden covered collection my parents used to have in their bedroom. It was full of this kind of tales and stories and I would be entertained by it for hours.

If you're visiting Granada, I strongly recommend that you read it right after your visit, so that you'll feel more related to the ambience.

Next step: 'Animal Farm' by George Orwell.

Children

I was babysitting both my nieces (6 years old and 8 months old) for 3 days, nearly 12h per day. Now, I'm ready for some thoughts about the case.

Before my oldest niece was born, I had never followed a child's growing process so close. At first, I was astonished at how fascinating it is to see them evolve, start doing little things that seem so obvious to us while being so challenging for them. It was with great joy that I experienced these little steps just as I do now with the youngest one.

However, just as it is rewarding, it is also frustrating. I have my limits: I'm not that parenting-oriented so sometimes it is very hard for me to deal with their own limitations. Now that there are two of them, I tend to be too demanding on the oldest one, forgetting that she's also a child and barely forcing her to act properly. I even get (too) angry sometimes. *facepalm*
Shame on me.

When it happens remorse takes over me and I'm filled with so much regret... but I'll never make it up to her, what's done is done. And yet, she always welcomes me with the biggest smile.

It's also very difficult for me to understand that I'll never be able to draw the brilliant life plan for them that I would want them to live. I will never be able to control whether they're hurt or not - and they will get hurt, like everyone else.

It sucks.
I'm no good with children.

Lalala

Today I had a very productive day =) I got three certificates!! One for English Language (C1 rock on 1m/), one for AutoCAD (got a B) and for Advanced Excel (B as well :p)

Afterwards I went to have lunch with M and then we went for some shopping at Fnac *facepalm* I couldn't help it. :x

Either way, I found something that I've always wanted for my collection for a very low price!! Here it is!




Then I got a special gift!! =)



Thanx M!! =) I always feel I will never be able to live up to your standards... I feel very honoured and flattered that you're my friend ;)

Oh well, off the sentimentalism :p I wish I will finish Tales of the Alhambra very quick so I can pick up these two!! =)

Annoyed

There are two things that annoy me enormously: getting plans screwed up and depending on people.

This must come to an end.

Life Can Be Quite Simple

We tend to get all wrapped up in fuss, anger, disappointment and resentment when after, it doesn't really need to be that way.

I enjoy meeting people I haven't met in a while. I enjoy having a chance to remember why I started being friends with them in the first place. Most of the times, most weird details go away and we end up having a surprising great time.

Why shall we stock feeling that are just not worthy of our worry?

Welcome back old friends. ;)

Going On

I've been having great days.

I've gone out with friends, I've studied Spanish, I've worked out, I've been with family, I've been online.

I've been balanced and it feels really good.

Final resolution: keep feeling alive, now matter what.

So, tomorrow it will be another busy day, gotta wake up pretty early to go to the gym and aftewards I'm going to Porto (paperwork awaitens me).
Then, family afternoon, best friend dinner (if she's up to it) and friends' night out. Oh yeah! =)

See ya tomorrow!

Resolutions

Why do people do their resolutions after New Year's Eve? Do we really need to relate to dates that much?

I'd like to make some resolutions today - I'm not going to wait for the end of the year.

- I will learn Spanish. Even if I don't become great at it, I must be able to endure a simply conversation at least. Without gasping. *rolleyes*
- I will keep working out. Twice a week, minimum. Three times a week, whenever I can.
- I will avoid mendling into people's lives, even if it's "for their own good". Ask first, mendle afterwards.
- I will keep good track of my money and spend it apply wisely.

I think that's all for today.

Signs of Disappointment

Today, a bunch of guys dressed as Darth Vaders switched the City of Lisbon flag for the ancient Portuguese monarchic flag.

It doesn't really worry me that they want monarchy back - they have the right to an opinion of their own, regardless what that may be. However, it worries me that this kind of attitude may have a harsh impact on people.
Portuguese people are unhappy, disappointed at their country and at the future it presents them. When people are so needy and vulnerable, they can get easily manipulated which can enable a lot of anger, and therefore, irrationality, pain and suffering.

So you, Darth Vaders, get a grip at what your doing - make sure you're doing it right, don't mess with people's minds, for our future and the future of our nation depends on them.

Cheerful Cheerful

Is seems like my 7 months old niece already has a very good taste for music ;) Kids start early these days!! :p

Makes Us Think

Today I went to Casa do Regaço, a place where nearly 30 children who have been taken away from their parents are taken care of.

I ended up going there, for no specific reason, and I met some of these children. God.

There were children from the age of 2 to the age of 19 - such different stages of their lives but so much in common though. They looked nice; they were clean and neat, well fed and they even looked pretty happy, actually. Most of them were even polite.
Still, only God knows what's behind those empty smiles - I was told some of them have nightmares all the time.

The youngest boy was 2 years old: he was abandoned by his mother at a doorstep after birth. The last time she saw him was 8 months ago. He probably doesn't remember her at all and it's quite clear that the people he acknowledges as being his family, his beloved ones, are the staff and the volunteers at the institution.

However, some of the other kids were not as lucky - some of their families are not even allowed to see them as they were set apart by the government due to terrible neglect, violence or sexual abuse issues.

A 13 year old boy: an ex-drug dealer (we hope).

Although all the misery they have lived surrounded by, they still smile like children, they crave for affection and attention from whoever crosses their way... I was shocked.

And once again, I got more and more certain that I don't want children on my own.

This One Must Be in Portuguese

I'm sorry for doing this but this is to embarrassing to be said in English - so here it goes.

Hoje fui às urgências do Hospital da Póvoa de Varzim. Em 24 anos de existência acho que é a primeira vez que tal acontece, mas a tosse nunca mais passa e hoje de manhã apanhei um susto valente, por isso lá vamos nós.

A primeira coisa que me espantou foi o pré-pagamento. Wtf?! Ou seja, se antes de ser atendida me der um treco e for desta pra melhor ainda me ficam com os 8,80€, queres ver??! Olha que lata... Depois claro, a espera habitual: mais de 2h pra ser atendida, Como é óbvio, a minha tosse não apareceu quando devia, por isso levei com uma pulseira verde que me f**i e esperei até ganhar raízes. Lá dentro, para variar, soluções poucas; explicações então, pff, quase nenhumas. Tirei um raio-x e não sei quê e nada. Pulmões limpinhos. Claro que isso não me impediu de levar com a habitual "tem que deixar de fumar", como se ainda me sobrassem muitos prazeres na vida. À saída, fui ao balcão aviar e receita e a gaja não tem mais nada "Tirou raio-x, não foi? São mais 1,75€.." Gggrrr!!!

O que me revolta nesta história??!! Não são as taxas que, apesar de não serem exorbitantes, a verdade é que não deviam ser necessárias. Não é o tratamento aviado às três pancadas ou o tempo de espera. É o facto de eu ser mais bem tratada num país que não é aquele no qual eu nasci e que, supostamente, represento.

À pála da minha tendinite de estimação também tive que ir às urgências na Holanda, país onde nunca nem eu nem os meus pais pagaram impostos. Fui quase tratada como uma VIP. Duas consultas e raio-x; demorei cerca de 1h. Preço: 0€. Medicação eficaz - curou-me numa semana dum mal que me vai acompanhar o resto da vida.

Hoje havia dezenas de pessoas naquelas urgências, algumas queixavam-se - com muita razão, diga-se - outras já nem diziam nada, tanto se habituaram ao atraso de vida que aqui se tolera. Quanto a mim, estou medicada para esta maldita tosse - que afinal parece ser uma traqueíte - pela 2ª vez em 3 semanas. A ver se é desta.

It's Strange How They Always Seem To Get It Right

Cast your mind back to the days,
When I pretend' I was OK.
I had so very much to say,
About my crazy livin'.
Now that I've stared into the void,
So many people, I've annoyed.
I have to find a middle way,
A better way of livin'.

So I haven't given up,
That all my choices, my good luck...
Appear to go and get me stuck,
In an open prison.
Now I am tryin' to break free,
In a state of empathy.
Find the true and enemy,
Eradicate this prison.

No-one can take it away from me

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